Energy Vampires II
I have located some helpful hints on dealing with a narcissist. For myself, I go to great lengths to avoid interacting with them. For others, however, you may not be able to escape him/her because you live with them. My heart aches for you. You need to protect yourself.
How to Disarm a Narcissist (and Make Them a Bit More Tolerable)
1. Don’t fall for the temptation to sink to their level.
2. Don’t feed the ego.
3. Don’t take responsibility for his/her emotions.
4. Don’t use ultimatums.
5. Don’t give him negative attention.
Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their emotions and yet they expect you to be accountable for yours. Your narcissist has worked hard to know what makes you tick, how to push your buttons and then how to convince you to stay. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to be in complete control of your emotions – far easier said than done but it can be done. Give your emotional intelligence a quick look over and figure out how to use that to control yourself. The most important trick to disarming the narcissist is to control your emotions.
The above are quotes from the site in the following link; use it to gain many more insights into dealing with the narcissist in your life:
3 Secrets to Outsmarting a Narcissist (By Not Trying to)
Secret number 1: Only a narcissist finds sheer pleasure in competing to outsmart another in the use of cruel- or chaos-causing tactics.
Secret number 2: From a narcissist’s vantage point, like it or not, you are viewed as a fierce competitor — and your relationship is an ongoing competition.
Secret number 3: For a narcissist, use of tactics to crush another’s esteem or plans are the end game.
Oh, just read this entire blog, as it is chuck full of great material. The above quotes are taken from:
Have you ever heard of “gaslightling”? This is a favorite technique of the narcissist, to put you at a disadvantage.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance and other changes, including low self-esteem. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim’s beliefs. Instances can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents occurred, to belittling the victim’s emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
The term originated from the British play Gas Light (1938), performed as Angel Street in the United States, and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations (both titled Gaslight). The term has now been used in clinical psychological literature, as well as in political commentary and philosophy.
Oh, and here is a great site to enable you to spot the narcissist in your midst:
1. Everything Is about Them
2. They Are so Charming… At First
3. Split Personalities
4. Lack of Boundaries
5. You Are Isolated
6. Disregard for Your Feelings
7. Delusions of Grandeur
9. Inability to Let You In
10. They Avoid Total Responsibility
11. The Green-Eyed Monster
12. They Are Manipulation Experts
14. No Grey Area
15. Pull And Push
Wow! I really related to the facts in this article. I experienced / witnessed every one of the above warning signs. Read more at:
Here are a few responses said to help disengage a narcissist:
- I’m sorry you feel that way
- I can accept your faulty perception of me
- I have no right to control how you see me
- I guess I have to accept that’s how you feel
- You’re entitled to your reality
- Your anger is not my responsibility
-Per Dr. Les Carter.
I don’t know, but it seems like some of these could, rather than disengage, do the reverse. Your thoughts?
Finally, a favorite piece of advice from one of my Spiritual Advisors is to “Take the High Road”. I frequently have to remind myself of this special little tidbit of wisdom and I share it with you, encouraging you to use it freely. Rise above the muck!